How? What? When? Why?

It was a family party. My mind was full of problems. I had to divert my mind. I had to let go of these shits. I was planning to enjoy. I started with a glass of wine. After two glasses of wine and some pegs of whiskey I started acting. The slurred voice proved that I was drunk. I was acting crazy in a huge crowd and I came closer to a familiar face. I was trying to recognize. Whoa! She was my ex. How did she come here? I started thinking. We both saw each other and both felt awkward. My drunken state compelled me to say so, “Hello Ms. Stella.” Now she had to reply. She couldn’t just wave and say Hello. She replied with a smile, “Hey Rick, what a surprise? “ I was surprisss- “SHOCKED” to be honest. I never expected this to happen. I acted in a while “yeah! I am fine. It felt so good to finally meet you after 2 years.” Can we ignore this noise and talk somewhere quiet?” She responded with a smile. I couldn’t hug. I couldn’t balance my body resting on her shoulder. I just had to walk. Walk beside her and that was gladly accepted. The problems I had I forgot. We walked peacefully without looking at each other not talking a bit. It seemed like she missed me too. I told her let’s stay there pointing towards a bank of the river: it was like a small portion of a beach. We went there, sat down and finally she asked, “What did you want to talk about that we had to sacrifice that party? “ I smiled and said, “NOTHING!” I added, “I just missed the moments when we used to sit together ignoring the whole world, so I just wanted to be with you for at least five minutes until and unless you feel weird or let’s say awkward.” I was regretting it. What did I just say? I was like panicking. She was like quiet hearing those words from me. She finally spoke ignoring all those words. “I heard you made a new girlfriend” she said. I nodded and said yes. She said, “Let’s go back. I am kinda feelin’ cold out here.” Okay, that was all I could say. We stood up. My state said, “I know I made a new girlfriend, but every time I meet her, I think of you. I know you both are different but I miss you in her every reaction; those small moments spent with you mattered a lot for me; I search all those things that you had in her.” To change the topic I said, “Finally got your number, but ha-ha couldn’t call. I was talking like a lunatic. And how did you know I had a girlfriend? I asked. “637854, you never changed your phone number”, she said. We were both still and couldn’t speak for a while. I had to ask, “You still remember. Wow!” “I thought you were happy. All those statuses and the pictures said so. I stalk too.” She added with a wink and a shy smile. “Life messed with us, I know that but the feelings were too deep. I was scared to intrude in your life again as I already had done twice. I didn’t want to hurt you one more time.” The alcohol effect floated away with those words. I was Love Drunk now. I simply couldn’t ignore that moment, simply couldn’t let go of that feeling that was aroused again with those words. I didn’t feel right, I just wanted this phase to never end, not again. I didn’t believe in stopping the time and never letting go of each other but the more you spend with her, the time flies away, way too faster. Once again, I still haven’t let go off my alcohol effect, so I added,” we both know that we want to talk, spend some time with each other; let’s kill our awkwardness for a bit and just play with words with each other, come sit down right beside me.” She was like standing still, but I knew she’d come back, just stay with me for a while, and she did actually after standing still for at least one whole minute. Why do girls take decisions too slowly, like it’s gonna haunt you forever? We again sat together and the words we were searching from inside to talk about, but the heart, mind and everything else was empty and we couldn’t even utter a single word. The cold night with the stars above and the peaceful scenario with someone special right beside you, that is the time when you need no words as silence can also provide warmth and the feeling of each other sitting side by side with those smells flowing through wind making you feel like dizzy that you want to stop time, if you could, is definitely enough to make the night cherish able for the future, to create moments, to create a story for you to narrate to your grandchild. “So, still single then?” It came out of nowhere, I just spit those words right in her face, I regretted it. She knew I was drunk, “yeah, still waiting for the perfect time to intrude in your life, one more time.” And she replied with sarcasm. I had to laugh, but couldn’t as I was hoping she’d come back, as the feelings deep inside were out again, and the alcohol was helping it to express in front her and to a great surprise, she was again falling for those words, maybe she wanted the same old time back, the same old feeling back. “I am feeling a little bit dizzy and I think it would be the perfect excuse to rest on your shoulder, or have I lost that right too?” again alcohol spoke something. She had a small unnoticeable grin in her face; I just couldn’t resist and rested on her shoulder. She said, “Why did you drink this much?” “I don’t know, maybe it was too tempting and alcohol knew that I’d meet you tonight so it is helping me to express my buried feelings and helping your to fall for me again.” The words were like an antidote to heal all those scars inside the heart and suck all the negative poisonous feelings from it. She smiled, I was dying to see her smile and finally it was her smiling, smiling for me. We were both staring at each other’s face. The night was silent and we were still staring at each other, like it’s the last time we will ever see each other. We didn’t blink, not even once and the feelings were evaporating from inside and the melted heart was expressing that I want her back, I don’t want to lose her again, she felt the same maybe, otherwise she wouldn’t approach towards me. The two faces were just separated by the distance of an inch. The lips were almost touching each other, I took the final step and touched it eventually, the lust in her eyes as if she wanted to kiss me right away when we meet. The lips were still, just touching each other and now the heart was ordering the lips to act and get lost within each other, the simple kiss turned into a smooch with all the lost feeling all found again, and we were both feeling like madly in love. Every movement of lips was making me feel like I was cheating on my girlfriend but it was all worth it, I repeat, all worth it.