UNANSWERED SILENCE!!

“You have changed.” She said.

“It’s been 10 years and time has its own way to change people. “I replied.

“It was the graduation ceremony right, the last visit, and the last time we talked to each other.” She said

“…how could you get lost for all these years, and you used to be a regular visitor of the social networking sites, but I didn’t find you anywhere after our graduation.” She added.

“You still talk too much.” I replied with a smile.

The vegetable market of New Baneshwor is one of the major trade meet points for the vegetable vendors in Kathmandu. The place is full of the wholesaler and the retailer who would do anything to empty their stock for the day. They know how to gain the attraction of the customers and pull them to their stalls.

The noises of the vendors, selling their vegetables and the customers, bargaining for their desired products is all we could hear there.

In the left corner of the big vendor point, we met after ten long years. We have been in the same city all these years but Kathmandu is not that small as people describe.

It’s become too big for the people who are busy for three hundred days a year. The life has changed in the past decade; people would give more priorities to friendship, relationships but the time has turned upside down and all they can devote their precious time is work and other useless stuffs.

The beauty of our college era, Supriya Singh, and one of my best friends then, was standing there in front of me with her sparkling eyes as ever, shocked and happy, and of course furious for disappearing without letting know about it to anyone.

The mixed feeling could be felt, coming out of her body like an invisible fume and beating me with all its power and making me weak as her presence used to make, ten years back.

I could still find no wrinkles on her face, the evergreen pretty face with any spots on it as if the God had created a masterpiece. The hair was still black and some part of it was dyed blonde.

I had heard from others that she had married five years ago and had one child and was gifted with a happy family.

“So how have you been, Nitin? We have so much to talk about and the first question would always be, where had you been all these years?” She asked.

I still smiled unable to reply her query. I could shoot her with all the answers she wanted bbut all I could do was smile.

After all, I saw her after a long time and I couldn’t waste not watching her and distract myself with the movement of my lips creating a sound that would disturb and clearly block the way for my eyes to mark her presence.

“We were always the best of friends, but you just slid away like a season, a season which leaves us when you want it so bad. You left like the color changing lizard and just disappeared into the nature.” She added.

She made me miserable again. I wanted to utter something to rest her questions to peace with appropriate answers but it would be too late and harsh to defend yourself now.

The ringtone of my phone saved me. It was my mother who saved me from that awkward moment.

“I need to go now, but we’ll meet soon again, as you have found me again after all these years.” I replied.

“…maybe I will quench your thirst for the unanswered questions someday soon but I need to leave now.” I smiled.

We exchanged our numbers and promised to meet each other again real soon and departed to our respected destination.

I am Nitin Shah, “The Jack” from the college days. I was always there for people who needed help even though I knew that the same people wouldn’t be there when I needed help.

It was the never changing rule of the world.

The popular guy in college, whose name was in every lips, because maybe he had helped you once.

I was short haired, and my face was well equipped with a French cut and a fashionable spectacles.

Supriya was the girl that every guy would fall for; she could attract any guy with her dazzling eyes and her friendly nature.

We had been friends from the first year of our college and we became pretty close in a quick period of time.

We would always hang out with our group and our crazy group included Mohit, Asmita and Binay too.

We would go for crazy outings, the last moment planned journeys, the movies and the most important, the togetherness was always there.

The group of five was the most memorable part of the college life and moreover, Supriya was the person who had always been the closest in that group since we had known each other from the very start.

Since we had different classes from the second year, Binay and Asmita, the only couple in our group were added to the group as Supriya used to talk to them often. Mohit was the friend, I had in my class and we had been close in the second year of college.

One time, I can still remember, Mohit had to act like he was a celebrity and we would compel some strangers in to ask for his autograph.

Those moments, when you remember, are really fun and precious which could still wet those eyes.

The moments of college life must be made memorable so that you could smile remembering it in the later days.

The dull life would make you remember nothing in the future. The stories for the upcoming legacy must be real and precious as the fictional things would be too mainstream by then.

The friendship with Supriya, was turning into the most gifted love for me from inside as the heart wanted her heart to share the same cavity inside.

Supriya had no idea with what eyes I used to see her and what these eyes had always been begging from her. I wanted her to be there all the time by my side, share her life, but the lips were unable to let go of those words.

I wanted her in front of my eyes; these eyes could see her all day and couldn’t get enough of it. The unexpressed love was pushed deep inside and time flew like a jet plane driving us all to the very last year of the college.

Mohit knew, from my expressions and the behavior I show to others and it changes automatically when she comes in front of me.

He always threatened me to tell her about how much I loved her but I would stop him eventually by telling him that I would empty my heart in front of her with the unsaid words soon.

Supriya’s involvement in the group lessens with time and the couple preferred spending time alone to staying with us.

Supriya would have many reasons and excuses to stay away from us and the only people left in the group were me and Mohit.

We were unable to know the reason for her absence. We would call her at home; she wouldn’t be there.

We just thought it was all coming to an end and everyone has found their ways and the universal ritual of departure after the college life was about to be applied by everyone, one more time.

The love for someone could never be thrown away at once as the heart is like a magnet and it never can let go off another heart that easily. This magnet can either be repaired soaking with the tears or poring it with happiness.

It was few weeks before the graduation; Mohit and I were returning after watching a movie when we saw Supriya roaming around in the street with some guy.

I was getting cold and the heart shivering from inside but it was not the right time to react, I thought and we walked away.

Though she was one of my closest friends from the start, it was pretty rude to interfere in her personal life unless she discloses it herself.

It was a week before graduation when Supriya called me; it was almost after a month that she called me.

She sounded happy; she apologized for getting lost and we had a normal conversation. Afterwards she paused for a little and took a long, deep breath.

“Nitin, you know why I was lost all this time? “

“I would be honored to know the reason for your absence. Did we do anything that offended you? I wanted to ask about it a long time back but…”

“No, it’s not because of you guys. Actually, I wanted to tell you something, something really important.”

“Continue…”

There was a ten second’s silence and she said, “I am in a relationship with someone.”

Those words came out as expected but it came like the horrifying music that would affect each and every part of your body.

“Well, Con-grats! “ I stammered.

“Who is the lucky guy, by the way?” I added slowly.

“You know him, Aadesh from the other section; we used to chat from the start of the second year but we both felt awkward to meet each other. We would always greet each other in college and it would end the conversation for the day”

“…but a few months back, we met and had an actual conversation.”

There was another long silence and I thought I had to respond now.

“Well, I am so happy for you, Congratulations.” I replied faking a forced smile.

That ended our conversation as I told her that the sleep was welcoming me to its lands, but how can sleep be there when the heart was all awake, burnt and scratched, full of rashes and numb.

I couldn’t cry as the tears rejected the urge from my body and I was left pale and alone.

I could talk to Mohit about it but I was afraid that he would overreact and it would affect her happiness.

I couldn’t sleep that night but decided to let it go, but the words are easier than the deed that needs to be carried out.

Finally, the day of graduation had come. Four long years had come to an end and people were obviously bidding good bye to most of them with the graduation ceremony.

We received our certificates and were officially graduated. I saw them, the new couple, Aadesh and Supriya; they were coming towards me.

I was nervous but I had to smile and say something.

“Well, the couple has been finally seen together after months. Congrats to both of you!” I faked a smile.

Mohit was standing there watching me smile. He said, “Congrats!” and followed me.

“You knew about them? “ He asked.

“Yeah!”

“And you did nothing about that? I told you to express your feelings as soon as possible.” Mohit was furious and his words were sharper than a brand new sword.

“It’s too late now, let it be.” I replied.

“I am gonna tell her myself now. I will…”

“…No, you will not, let her enjoy the happiness of being in love. Look at her eyes, it’s sparkling with happiness like never before.” I stopped him.

“I hope you will not break my trust, and not tell her anything about my stuffs.” I added.

“I am leaving now.”

I left the ceremony shedding few drops of tears. The moments which started with fun and craziness sometimes could end with sadness and tears.

I bid goodbye to Binay and Asmita and wished them goodluck for the future.

I hugged Mohit and left the premises watching Supriya and Aadesh, lost in their conversation; the conversation of love.

Sometimes things don’t go as expected and you won’t get everything you wish for; that was the only thing that made me go on with my life.

I deactivated everything and planned to completely disappear from her life.

I was leaving for Delhi to complete my Masters. I told Mohit about it as he would often come to my house to comfort, talk to me.

I left with letting Supriya know about it. I was lost in the busy city of Delhi for twi years and further one year for completing my internship there.

In the span of three long years, she couldn’t contact me and I couldn’t contact her.

I used to talk with Mohit at certain intervals. He told me that she broke up with Aadesh after a year.

Her family found a groom for her and she was getting married next year.

I told Mohit not to tell anyone that he still used to talk to me.

I returned to Nepal after four long years, completing my Masters. I had returned for a short period during my Masters but now I was about to permanently settle down here.

I was welcomed by Mohit after two days of my arrival. I was back with knowledge and a future.

She was already married and busy in her life with the entrance of the new member in her family.

The time flew like anything and after the span of a decade; she was standing there, in front of me.

The same old Supriya, with a new life, was smiling.

Her questions couldn’t be answered by me. I couldn’t answer them now.

Sometimes, some things must be left unanswered. Sometimes some things are not meant to be. Sometimes we don’t act and we don’t achieve. Sometimes, the things won’t go as expected and there will be another script written for you.

I thought I’d never meet her again but time couldn’t even separate two true friends for long.

I smiled and entered my home.

“Hey mom, I am back. Here are your healthy vegetables and you won’t believe who I met after so long.” I shouted with joy.