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The Lie Behind the Truth
I try to stop myself each and everytime. I try to compell myself to delete her number from the contact list, but the urge from the heart is greater than what the mind actually wants.
The normal feeling when I actually dialed her number automatically transformed into awkward moment when she picked up the phone.
"Hello" she said.
Gathering up some courage, I replied , "H-h-ell-o!! "
She recognized my voice, stayed silent for a moment.
"Its You, you called? " in a surprised tone.
"I know you are thinking how did I find this number. I spy too and two minutes of drama and you'll succeed eventually." I said.
"Last time it was to let me know that you made a new girlfriend and what about this time? Why did you call?" She replied in a serious tone.
"How did you find out all of these shits?" I asked.
After a long pause, "-638574, you never changed your number and you are still on my contact list."
She added, "All the statuses and pictures on Facebook made me believe all these things."
I was shocked. I couldn't speak for a while.
I'll end the call, she said and I begged, "Please don't."
Why?
"I-I-I just don't want this comversation to end as you will again ignore me as a stranger and change this number all because of me."
The watery eyes and the slurring voice made her believe that I was telling the truth and was in a deep trouble.
"So how have you been? " she said.
I couldn't control and said "I want to meet you, atleast for once. I have no intension of getting back with you but a last meeting as a friend may sound awkward but still.."
"..I always loved your company."
She was silent. The sound coming from the background was louder than her voice.
She finally spoke. "Its not that I don't want to meet you. But the feelings inside this heart has been stored safely so that it would never intrude in my life; but If I see you again and spend a little time with you, the imaginary barrier that keeps those feelings safe will break and I may fall for you again. That will make both of our lives complicated."
I don't know what to say. I regret calling her but to some extent I wanted to meet her.
"I'll be waiting where I first met you..the same place 12 pm..I hope you'll be there. I know you'll be there. The unconcious mind told me so."
She is speechless as I was acting like a desperate asshole. I realized I was getting stubborn.
The foolishness I just committed was unforgivable. The state I was in was uncontrollable.
She couldn't say a thing except "Goodnight. You take care." in a dull voice.
The twenty eight minutes call where half of the time we both were silent ended.
I was searching for sleep but damn her memories, damn another mistake, damn insomania. You all are not helping me at all.
I wanted to scream out loud from the terrace but to adjust yourself in the society you must act decent and live your life accordingly. I was bounded by the rules of life.
Sleep came but when I can't say but I was awake till one, I remember.
The next day, I woke up with excitement and nervousness. I knew she'd surely come. I knew her. The mixed feelings was killing me from inside. I still feel there was an empty cavity inside me that must be filled with joy.
I try to stop myself each and everytime. I try to compell myself to delete her number from the contact list, but the urge from the heart is greater than what the mind actually wants.
The normal feeling when I actually dialed her number automatically transformed into awkward moment when she picked up the phone.
"Hello" she said.
Gathering up some courage, I replied , "H-h-ell-o!! "
She recognized my voice, stayed silent for a moment.
"Its You, you called? " in a surprised tone.
"I know you are thinking how did I find this number. I spy too and two minutes of drama and you'll succeed eventually." I said.
"Last time it was to let me know that you made a new girlfriend and what about this time? Why did you call?" She replied in a serious tone.
"How did you find out all of these shits?" I asked.
After a long pause, "-638574, you never changed your number and you are still on my contact list."
She added, "All the statuses and pictures on Facebook made me believe all these things."
I was shocked. I couldn't speak for a while.
I'll end the call, she said and I begged, "Please don't."
Why?
"I-I-I just don't want this comversation to end as you will again ignore me as a stranger and change this number all because of me."
The watery eyes and the slurring voice made her believe that I was telling the truth and was in a deep trouble.
"So how have you been? " she said.
I couldn't control and said "I want to meet you, atleast for once. I have no intension of getting back with you but a last meeting as a friend may sound awkward but still.."
"..I always loved your company."
She was silent. The sound coming from the background was louder than her voice.
She finally spoke. "Its not that I don't want to meet you. But the feelings inside this heart has been stored safely so that it would never intrude in my life; but If I see you again and spend a little time with you, the imaginary barrier that keeps those feelings safe will break and I may fall for you again. That will make both of our lives complicated."
I don't know what to say. I regret calling her but to some extent I wanted to meet her.
"I'll be waiting where I first met you..the same place 12 pm..I hope you'll be there. I know you'll be there. The unconcious mind told me so."
She is speechless as I was acting like a desperate asshole. I realized I was getting stubborn.
The foolishness I just committed was unforgivable. The state I was in was uncontrollable.
She couldn't say a thing except "Goodnight. You take care." in a dull voice.
The twenty eight minutes call where half of the time we both were silent ended.
I was searching for sleep but damn her memories, damn another mistake, damn insomania. You all are not helping me at all.
I wanted to scream out loud from the terrace but to adjust yourself in the society you must act decent and live your life accordingly. I was bounded by the rules of life.
Sleep came but when I can't say but I was awake till one, I remember.
The next day, I woke up with excitement and nervousness. I knew she'd surely come. I knew her. The mixed feelings was killing me from inside. I still feel there was an empty cavity inside me that must be filled with joy.
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